After You

After you,
I have come to understand the fragility of intimacy
I have come to a new belief
that even the brightest of hearts will leave…
After you,
no longer can I withstand
the silence of my own beating heart,
you left me with an addiction
that yearns for the pleasures
of a love unlike any other…
After you,
I have screamed
to the heavens
to send me a godsend
an answer,
a message in the mist,
that I am
not as alone as
I think I am…
After you,
my heart has absorbed
the volatile substance of
pain and heartbreak,
of yearning and losing,
of being within arms reach,
but never adequate enough…
After you,
I have composed myself
with an army of indignance,
of supporters and riot-eers
who will stand by my side
as a simple reminder that
…not everyone leaves…
After you…
After you…
After you left,
I have lived each day
as if it were my own,
not my last,
nor my first,
but as if the world cannot give you
what you expect.
After you left,
I learned the hardships of expectations
and embraced the bitter existence of what is.
After you left,
I learned gratitude.
After you left,
I learned to let go.
p.p. // after you left // November 14 2014
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