“What do you want to be when you grow up?”
Sitting at the tender age of twenty-four, she wonders if she is already grown up or has a long ways to go, with many pieces of wisdom yet to be tasted. As she ponders the question, what comes to mind is “invisible.” There was not any time to really ponder what to be when the majority of time was spent hiding away from the world. Of course, akin to most of the kids she knew her age, she thought about being a vet. Who could resist the charm of a slobbering dog-earred companion while at work? But the reality of it was that she just wanted to be invisible, unseen from the world; untouched, unscathed…
Invisibility means one cannot be hurt. You are protected from the angers and prejudices of others. You are shielded from the whirlwinds of others emotions. You are free from the judgement of others. You do not have to wander around with eyes on the back of your head. Invisibility means nothing gets in and nothing gets out. Or, that is what it meant.
Now, invisibility means bruising solitude. You are protected from the angers and prejudices of others, never realizing the flaws that you possess nor attempting to change or adapt to the world. You are shielded from the whirlwinds of others emotions, with your head so far up inside yourself that you are suffocating from mere loneliness. You are free from the judgement of others, missing out on the criticisms that could better you as a person. You do not have to wander around with eyes on the back of your head – but neither do you need them on the front – there is nothing there waiting for you. Invisibility means escape. It means nothing.
To refresh the question today would be to answer differently. She has no aspirations for invisibility, but she aims to be free from the constrictions of a world that capitalizes on a nine-to-five complacent worker-bee – to be nothing of the sort. She wants to get by on the whims of her soul and the wings of her passion. They say money isn’t everything and surely it is not – Thus, she seeks her current, and future, being in the places her feet take her, in the cultural infusions that meet and greet her inner soul, and in the roads her mind travels in getting these words down.
“I want to be right here, right now, when I grow up, wherever and whenever that is…
I want to be mindful.”