Alcohol fixates itself on my breath and I feel my body begin to sway to the sound of Cuban music. My head is spinning and when I close my eyes, all I can imagine is being on a sunny beach, having the time of my life. My life is a cesspool of fear yet to be overcome. And my hopes are raised by the prospects of travel; at the idea that all that was me can be erased. The person that I am today, I am not 100% content with. I love her, but she has her flaws – these flaws that are so hindering to living. The alcohol soaks into my tongue as I try to drown the fear that consumes me. If I could only drown the fear while sober, I could escape myself of this intoxication. But alas, I’m all-consumed. I’m drowning in it. God help me. I want to be flawless.